Friends

just went to help lyla fix one of her toys and i spilled my drink all over me, frustrated with myself and was cleaning it up, just one more mess i have to clean up today (overall very frustrated with the current condition of my house) lyla said "mommy sometimes these spills just happen its okay" sweet little lady!

As part of a reading initiative in our household, Susan, Ryan, and I each read a novel by Herman Hesse with the intent to talk about self-discovery. My choice was DEMIAN, and it was a very enjoyable novel.

Sinclair is recalling his journey through childhood and adolescence to the ever-increasingly self-aware narrator that he claims to be. His journey begins with the torment of choosing between the safety of family and the lure of the world. He gets entangled with a bully which increases his guilt and confusion, until he develops a relationship with an unusually mature classmate, Max Demian.

Max is honest to the point of being frightening and mysterious. He inspires Sinclair, but with the kind of awe that is also anxiety. After Max resolves the issues with the bully, Sinclair avoids him, but his thoughts continually return to the independence and hope he felt while with Demian.

I won't give away the rest of the book, but it turns from psychological autobiography to an almost theological-mystical treatise on enlightenment. And the ending makes me question how I'm supposed to interpret Hesse's plot and characters. I read STEPPENWOLF last spring and was thoroughly engaged, so I think I'm going to try to read all of Hesse's novels in my lifetime.

There were some psychological and philosophical challenges that were brought to my attention, which has made today a sullen day, and my meditations a little darker, but I think it is important to address these questions instead of avoiding and ignoring them. Maybe I'll go more into those reflections later.